


Starlit Skies on Summer Nights

by ApocalypticNinja



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel
Genre: Brooklyn Boys, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers Feels, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Sick Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels, Worried Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 09:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8322304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApocalypticNinja/pseuds/ApocalypticNinja
Summary: Steve Rogers is sick, and Bucky has no choice but to admit him into the hospital. ((Everything is pre-serum!))





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I had no clue how hospitals were in the 1940s and I tried to research them but..didn't work out too well. I got a jumble of information and I wasn't sure which was true and which wasn't. 
> 
> So you can imagine this set back in 1940s, or a modern hospital! Whichever makes more sense to you!

Heavy footsteps echoed in Bucky's ears as he walked down the hall. His own footsteps were the only he could hear, even though there were a few other people in the hall as well. A doctor and nurse whispering to one another, a sobbing lady trying to be consoled by her husband, and a few people walking past him as if they were all being controlled by puppets. Their footsteps couldn't even be heard; their eyes dull and faces solemn. The hall itself was brightly lit as if to lighten the heavy sense of gloom, so bright to the point where it was stinging his eyes and giving him a headache. Everything seemed to be white and had a strong chemical smell to it. 

He hated hospitals. 

Despite not really paying attention to his surroundings, his feet lead him down a familiar path. A small teddy bear was in his hand along with a single rose. He knew it to be rather cliché but Steve loved small gestures like this, no matter how often he denies it. 

Steve..

He clutched the bear tighter in his hands as he drew close to the doorway of room 34B.  
A nurse walked out of the room when Bucky arrived but he paid no mind to her. Instead he walked inside the small room and looked at the scrawny body on the bed. His heart ached seeing Steve in this state. He was so frail anymore and many different doctors were seeing him everyday in a feign attempt to keep him alive. They were struggling to keep him breathing, but he was still alive. Even so Bucky's already been told there was a very slim chance of Steve living for much longer. Perhaps another 5 months at the most. And that was if he was lucky.  
A painful cough rattled in the blonde's chest; for a dull moment he didn't notice Bucky. A small, sad smile tugged at the corners of Bucky's lips as he sat on the edge of the cheap hospital bed -the mattress creaking beneath the added weight. 

"Hey Stevie, how do you feel?" 

Red blended with the dark gray of the makeshift table beside Steve, the yellow bear added much needed color. It brought a smile to the blonde's pale face. 

"I'm feelin alright Buck..A little better than yesterday at least."

He replied honestly. Wide blue eyes stared at him and Bucky caressed his boyfriend's cheek, Steve leaning into his touch and shutting his eyes. All that could be heard was cars buzzing around outside and someone walking down the hallway as Bucky contentedly admired Steve's features. Eventually Bucky leaned and softly pressed his lips to his boyfriend's own.  
A deep shade of crimson crossed Steve's cheeks and skid across the bridge of his nose. All too soon Steve broke the kiss and innocent eyes stared at the male in front of him. 

"Buck, what if someone sees?!"

"Let them stare then, babydoll."

Steve seemed dumbfounded for a moment before he turned his gaze to his own scrawny hands in his lap. People really didn't react too well to any homosexuals around here..And Steve desperately didn't want anyone to find out about them. 

Bucky scooted closer to Steve and wrapped his arms around the smaller male, placing a gentle kiss atop a mess of blonde hair.  
Footsteps drawing closer to the room -mixed with the paranoia of being caught- is what caused Bucky to pull away from the embrace and stand beside the bed instead. Moments after a nurse came in carrying a tray with small portions of food and medicine. 

"I'm terribly sorry Mister Barnes, but the doctor needs to tend to Rogers. You'll have to leave for the night, but you are welcome to come back tomorrow." 

Bucky kisses Steve's hand (which made him turn an even darker shade of crimson) before he said his goodbyes and left the room.

***

When the Sun shone brightly in the sky the next morning, Bucky was on his was to see Steve once more. A single rose in his hand again and his thoughts swimming, he trudged his way to the murky hospital. Once he got there the client at the front desk told him Steve was resting. When he walked into the room once more, his eyes scanned the room to make sure nothing too drastic changed before his eyes fell onto the form of his sleeping boyfriend. The dull curtain was pulled shut and Steve's raspy breaths echoed along the thin walls. He was so pale..  
Carefully striding to the bedside so not to wake him, He placed the rose alongside the one from the night before. Then he leaned down and softly kissed Steve's head.  
The doctors said he was only getting worse. 

***

As the days dragged on Steve still hasn't woken up. Fear crept it's way into Bucky's mind and he couldn't stand it anymore. Days turned into weeks as he watched the two roses turn into a bouquet, then two, until they just seemed to be a clump of many different shades of red. Even when the flowers wilted and was taken away, Bucky knew exactly how many roses there were. There were 19 roses in total. Both wilted and hauled away, and sitting on the bedside all together. 

The day Bucky decided to drop by slightly earlier than usual was a muggy one. It was humid and rainy, mud caked the streets and everyone seemed to be sour and in a rush. Overall it was a horrible time to be outside. But still Bucky trudged his way to the hospital. When he arrived he spent hours beside Steve's bed.  
He was going to be deployed soon. 

"Steve, babydoll, please...You need to wake up because I can't do this without you..."

Hot tears rolled down his cheeks and spilled into the thin blanket covering Steve's body.  
Bucky had no idea what to do.  
He left that night with red, blotchy eyes and an ache in his chest. When he laid down in his bed -no, what was once their bed- he felt lost.  
Scared.  
Sleep was a pleasure that didn't come easily anymore. 

***

Later on in the week the male found out Steve was awake. He was in poor condition, but awake. 

Bucky has never felt so relieved. 

By the time he reached the hospital his relief was short lived.  
The doctor pulled him aside and spoke to him in a rough, hushed voice. 

"Even though he is awake, with the condition he is in he will not pull through. He will be lucky to survive another week.  
I'm sorry but we've done all we could do." 

When those words reached Bucky's ears, it felt like someone was repeatedly punching him in the chest. He suddenly couldn't breath and it felt as if the room was closing in on him.  
Why?  
Why couldn't they do more?  
Why Steve, of all people?  
Steve, who was always willing to help someone no matter what. Who was always up to fight for what he believed to be right when he was destined to lose.  
Steve, who had only done good in the world, was being ripped from this life.  
For what reason?

Bucky had no clue how long he was standing in the hallway, but soon he found his way back into the dim room.  
When he entered all he could do was hold Steve in his arms, as if he was protecting the fragile male from the terrors around him like so many times before.  
Bucky felt that he had failed Steve. He could've -should've- done more. 

"I love you so much Steve,"

A soft, timid voice spoke from the crook of Bucky's neck. 

"I love you too, Buck."

***

The news was soon broken to Steve, but he already knew. He could feel it in the way people around him were acting. The nurses, the doctors, even Bucky.  
He knew.  
All he wanted was one final request. 

Bucky soon explained that he was being deported tomorrow at high noon, and Steve felt as if he couldn't survive this on his own. But the news only made Steve treasure this night even more. 

Together they sat on Steve's bed, laughing and joking as if they were in their own bed at home rather than in a gloomy hospital. Bucky kept looking at Steve throughout most of their time together. He was admiring every detail of his lithe form as if he was seeing Steve for the first time in his life.  
He know any moment could be the last.  
Soon the Sun began to set, and Steve's coughs echoed along the thin walls. Eventually he slid his way into Bucky's arms, directly positioned where he could hear his heartbeat. His watery eyes were casted towards the array of hues out the window as Bucky put his arms around his thin waist and rested his chin atop Steve's messy hair. Bucky could feel Steve's hip bones pressing into his arms.  
He was ridiculously skinny anymore. 

"At least we get a good view of the sun setting in here. It's about the only good thing.."

Steve only had to pause twice before erupting into a coughing fit. Bucky laced their fingers together and slowly traced his thumb over the blonde's knuckles. 

"It is quite pretty,"

They sat content in each other's arms until the sun was long gone and the moon replaced it's position in the starlit sky. Steve's breathing began to slow down and Bucky felt tears brimming his eyes.  
Steve weakly tightened his grip on Bucky's hands when they started to tremble. 

"Stevie..Do you know how much I wanted to marry you?" 

His voice quavered but he still spoke, keeping his gaze at the twinkling sky while Steve slowly turned to look at him. 

"I..Wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.."

He didn't bother to say that Steve would make it through this. They both knew it would be a pointless lie. Tears began to roll down his cheeks and he couldn't bring himself to look at Steve now, while earlier all He could do was look at the fragile boy. 

"To wake up every day and see your beautiful smile and messy hair. To have you in my arms when we lay down to sleep again.."

Steve felt his breathing begin to grow even more shallow. He buried his face in the crook of Bucky's neck and gripped onto his hands so tight, his knuckles turned white. He was terrified.  
He didn't want to die.  
But he felt so tired..All he wanted to do was sleep. His eyes slowly fluttered shut. 

"God I love you so much Steve Rogers. I will always love you." 

Steve didn't even get to mutter a word before his grip slowly began to loosen, his light breaths coming to a stop. He suddenly went limp laying against Bucky, and Bucky wanted to do nothing but cry out, scream, do anything to declare his pain to the unforgiving world. But all he could do was sit in silence. He was stunned; to shocked to move until two nurses ushered in.  
He didn't even notice how freely his tears were falling until now. When one of the nurses helped him stand up, he realized how badly he body was shaking and he couldn't even make out what the nurse was saying to him. 

He walked into the empty hall with tears streaming down his now pale cheeks, blurring his vision as shaky hands gripped his hair and pulled tightly.  
There was so much noise.  
Bucky tried his hardest to blink the tears away, but they were quickly replaced with new ones.  
The only sound emitting down the hall was a soft echo of a quiet cough from a patient. Besides the quick interruption, the hall was completely empty and no other sound emitted through the large hallway. 

There was so. much. noise. 

Bucky knew he would draw unwanted attention if he stood here much longer. He just had to take a few steps, get outside, and breath. But if he could hardly get air into his lungs now, what good would it do to step outdoors? He didn't think he could make it that far anyway. It was much longer than just a few steps. Instead his feet began to move, his steps misleading and sloppy. He couldn't keep himself balanced and had to hold an arm against the wall for support. 

Finally he reached a dingy bathroom; luckily empty. He worked his way to a stall and locked himself inside. As soon as the lock clicked, his knees hit the floor and he just broke. His own sobs rang in his ears as he felt totally lost and helpless. The one he loved was gone.  
For once in his life, Sargent James Buchanan Barnes had no idea what to do.

**Author's Note:**

> I spent an unruly amount of time on this uh,,,  
> If you wanna bump up the pain, listen to Dark on Me by Starset during or after reading this. I listened to it while writing this and many tears were shed


End file.
